This blog is about Rex.
Sunday, October 2, 2011 at 7:27PM This is not a blog about FLUX. I went to FLUX. I had fun, saw art, walked around. My FLUX experience was unique. I had the opportunity to walk around with Ms. Nancy Lavarnway Lazzara. I met Nancy a year ago while bar-tending at Elliot Street Pub and was excited to run into her at FLUX.
I remember that her son Rex was struggling with a heroin addiction and was clean for a year when I met Rex at the pub. I asked her how Rex was doing and then she told me that she lost Rex 3 months ago. Rex decided to use one more time- not knowing that one more time would be his last.
I told her I was sorry for her loss and if she was open to talking about it I would listen. This is Rex’s Story.
When Rex was a child, Nancy knew he was until anyone else. Rex could feel all emotions. He was a sponge for all energy- Energy from humans, energy from nature. When Rex was 6 years old he was sitting on the toilet with his head in his hands. Nancy asked if he was ok, He told her he was upset. Rex had questions that didn’t have answers. Is there a God? Is there not a God? Why can’t he understand what he was feeling. 6 years old.
Rex took the SAT’s once in 8th grade- Got a scholarship to NorthWestern on those SAT scores. He experimented with Pot. He dabbled in this and dabbled in that. If Rex had sex with a girl- he fell in love with them. One girl Lily- a heroin user broke his heart. He want to get back with her and used. Then used. Then used again. Thinking that was going to get her back.
After sometime in rehab he got clean. Rex went back to college at University of Colorado at Boulder. Over July 4th weekend, Rex’s roommate went a 4th of July party and Rex stayed home. His roommate came home on July 5th to Rex dead from his last overdose.
Nancy talked to me about how Rex is still with her. His ashes hang around her neck in a cross. She has relief that he’s happier now and misses him everyday. Rex speaks to her in the form of birds and energy. She told me about a hawk that swooped down the car front window as she was getting in the car and hit the bush in front of her. The time that birds kept hitting her window at her house. The time that she opened her window to see a bush full of black butterflies. She asks her self ‘is it Rex? or am I just more aware of natures energy, now that he is gone’?
She threw a cup of his ashes in the 1000’s Islands Lake in New York. A full double rainbow spread its colors over the Lake when she tossed Rex’s ashes. He was there. She knows that the moment he died he said ‘What the fuck did I do’ Then was at peace. She can’t explain how and why she knows it- she just does.
Rex has a lot to do now. A lot of people to take care of without the burden of drugs or weight of the world. He watches over Nancy and many others now.
Nancy gave me a great gift by feeling comfortable with me to tell me her and Rex’s story and love. This blog post can’t give Rex and Nancy the justice that they deserve. I can’t remember the art I saw Friday night. I didn’t take any photos. That wasn’t important to me. Nancy’s words were.
LOVE those around you. For there good, for there bad. Take to time out to let people know they are important to you. Those individuals might not be here tomorrow. Don’t take things personally, Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Everything time you read the name REX in this blog- his spirit lives, thrives and helps Nancy heal.
I love you Nancy. Your energy and love is shown and appreciated. Thank you for sharing your story of Rex with me. 
Reader Comments (4)
Very inspiring.
By the way, I wanted to ask why do you write without using only lower case letters...
...and why mine appear all in CAPS! HAHAHAHA
it was just the way i formated the blog. i like lowercase ascetically. that's all.